The Early Years
From a very early age, I believed God was real. I saw Him demonstrated through my grandaunt, Aunt Lucy, with whom I lived as a child. She carried an unshakable peace. I don’t remember hearing an angry word from her. She always gave of herself and whatever she had. Aunt Lucy was constantly smiling, singing, or humming her favorite hymn. Her joy and hope drew me in, and I wanted to be near her all the time. My daughter, Azahra reminds me of her now, she is always singing and humming.
As soon as I could read, she would wake me at six in the morning for devotions. We read the Bible and sang hymns of praise. Aunt Lucy was a woman of faith. Interestingly, she didn’t talk much about God, she modeled a life that revealed Him.
My Faith: What Did I Believe?
Aunt Lucy’s faith rubbed off on me. I believed the Bible, at least most of it at that time. I believed I had everything I needed to get where I needed to be. For instance, I did not know my father, who died when I was young. Yet it didn’t trouble me because the Bible said God is “a father to the fatherless,” and I took that as truth. If God was my Father, I believed I could pray for anything and receive it.
I thought that if God is my Father and He is the God of the Universe I really could pray for anything and I would receive it. Once, I prayed that I wanted to go to a country where I knew no one and I did not know the language. I wanted to see how I would function in that environment. Well God allowed it, I went to Peru on a work trip and had the time of my life.
So for a while, that faith seemed to work. I did well in school, got a good job, and traveled. But there was so much I didn’t understand.
I grew up watching people sit around waiting for something to happen to them or settle for whatever life handed them. They had no dreams or sense of purpose. It really bothered me. I didn’t understand it then because I had dreams and goals beyond anything I had ever seen. I believed I would achieve them, although I didn’t know how. My imagination fueled my dreams, and I often saw glimpses of myself doing things far beyond my situation. I kept those dreams close to my heart.
Scriptures like Matthew 21:22: “Ask believing, and you will receive,” and Matthew 7:7: “Seek, and you shall find,” became anchors. When I couldn’t see the things I prayed and worked for, I read Psalms 46 and 91. Those scriptures encouraged me, and I pressed forward.
We Make the Plan, but God Directs Our Steps
This year has been a year of storms for me, I did not ask or planned for these (laugh). They came in every form. Yet, I was not worried, I knew something was coming beyond the storms. As I walked by faith, I learned how to rise above the storms.
As a trained scientist, we are always planning. Planning our experiments and planning our week/ month/ year. I was flexible though and when things didn’t work out, I adjusted and moved forward. Eventually, I decided to pursue a childhood dream, one I thought would solve all my problems. I reached the goal, that was the PhD in biochemistry, but it didn’t solve anything. In fact the opposite happened, all the doors were closed and I was crushed.
I had imagined this dream taking me exactly where I wanted to be. Instead, all the doors closed. I was confused. This one thing, the dream I believed would open everything, shut everything down.
Now I understand a lot of these things, because Jesus said in Revelation 3:7, that he’s the one who opens doors and closes doors.
Are we trying to open doors that God as shut? And are we trying to do things that is not in His will? It’s not going to happen. We’re going to have problems.
What Is Our Why?
I went within. I asked myself the questions I should have asked from the start but was too naïve to consider.
Why did I want these goals?
What was the purpose behind them?
Where did I ultimately want to be?
What could I do, skills or no skills?
Was there a destiny for me?
Had I been on the wrong path all along?
These were not simple questions. Who knew the answers to these question without a doubt? The answers the world gave, “work harder,” did not suffice. I felt like I had already tried everything. I thought I was following God’s plan. Why did He allow me to reach goals I didn’t need? Were the dreams from God, or was I simply determined?
The one question I never asked, although it tempted me, was, “Is God real?”
Because deep down, I knew He was, even when I couldn’t feel, see, or understand Him.
Are We Hoping For Things That We Cannot See?
Even when I couldn’t reach my dreams, I still held a clear vision of how my life should look. I couldn’t let go. I still believed. That belief is faith, “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Despite my circumstances, God did not leave me. He had a plan. Perhaps He was teaching me something. I surrendered to the process because nothing was moving in my own strength. This time, I had to wait on God.
It took all my faith to wait—not passively, but while serving my gifts, growing, and sharpening new skills. I was already educated and qualified, so my family and friends couldn’t understand what I was doing. But I knew God was with me, and this was the path He had for me. I found peace in what felt like storm after storm.
It Is All for His Purpose
God is not our genie. I laugh now because so many of my questions were about me and what I wanted. What I failed to realize is that it’s not about me. Are we children? When my son was young, he would demand things, not ask. For example, He would say, “Mom I want sausage.” Sometimes I would stop and think, do you know if I have sausage? But that is how we behave as children.
It is not about us. It is all for the glory of God. Whatever He allows, the good or the bad, it is for His purpose.
When we pray, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” we are giving Him permission to do as He pleases not because He needs it, but because He honors our free will. His will is beyond anything we can dream or imagine. He is the God of the universe. But, we need to understand that it is not about us.
Do We Understand God, Ourselves, and Others?
That season, when nothing worked, helped me understand God at a deeper level. God is molding us into His character. That is the real blessing, not things, and not even the dreams we desire.
Perhaps instead of being goal-oriented, we should be growth-oriented. Becoming more like God is a lifelong process. We always have room for improvement.
Now I understand why some people get stuck waiting for life to happen or settle for less than their potential. I understand why we do the things we do. This understanding helps me meet people where they are and love them without conditions or ulterior motives. I had faith, however God was, and is, teaching me love.
What Is Love?
1 Corinthians 13 is famously known as the love chapter.
It says, If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
With all the faith that I had, I was nothing without love.
Faith: What Do You Believe? What Is God Teaching Us?
I encourage you to keep your faith in God, no matter what you’re facing. He has a plan. You may also have a plan; God may have even given you the dream—but the dream is not the whole plan.
Remember Joseph. He dreamed that he would rule, but he didn’t see the pit or the prison. Joseph learned to love and forgive during his time of testing. In the end, he demonstrated faith—the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.
What is God teaching you?
You may be in a difficult place now, but this is not the end. Hold on to Him. Learn the lessons. God will finish what He started.
With grace and growth,
Sanchia and team.
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Audio Version
Please listen to our podcast Be Still And Grow, Episode 5: Faith: What Do We Believe?
Video Version
Please watch our full length of Be Still And Grow. Faith: What Do We Believe?