The Highly Sensitive Child: Be Informed

It’s back-to-school season once again! The children had a wonderful summer—most of it without me—and that’s perfectly fine, as long as they were happy and well. The weeks leading up to a new school year are often filled with anticipation, excitement, and sometimes anxiety, both for us as parents and for our children.

We are reminded that our children unique. Some thrive academically, while others shine in creative or practical ways. Some learn quickly, while others need more time. Each child carries distinctive gifts, natural abilities, and personalities. As parents, mentors, and caregivers, it’s essential that we take the time to really know our children so we can nurture and support them as they find their place in this world.

Today, I want to explore a topic that isn’t often discussed—especially in our community: the highly sensitive child.

What is Wrong with My Child?

If you are like me, you’ve probably asked this question before—when your child doesn’t do what you ask, when they seem to have an answer for everything, or when you’re speaking to them and they appear to be staring into space.

The truth is, probably nothing is “wrong”!

Of course, sometimes a child may have autism, ADHD, or another condition that requires professional support. But in many cases, the real question isn’t “What’s wrong with my child?” but rather “How is my child processing what has happened to them?”

For example, last spring I attended a work event, and the children stayed home with their dad. He allowed them to watch the tablet all day. They loved it, and they were quiet. But studies shows that for highly sensitive children—or really, for any child—excessive screen time can negatively impact cognitive, linguistic, and social-emotional growth, often leading to unpleasant behavior.

I say “excessive” because moderate screen use, when guided by healthy content, can actually support learning and creativity. My nine-year-old, for instance, created a video of him and his sister exploring the math museum in Manhattan.

My children loves to learn and enjoy visiting museums.

Time and Season: The Part We Play

As a result of all that screen time, the children became restless—running around and making noise in church the day after. I also recognize the part I played in this. Had I been home instead of at the work event, maybe things would have turned out differently. Perhaps my role that day was to be present at home, or perhaps it was to seek the right kind of support (value aligned).

You see, there is a time and a season for everything. But do we truly know which season we are in? Or are we clinging to an old one when God has already opened a new door?

We need wisdom to release some of the hats we pile on ourselves and be careful not to take on more than God has given us to do. Many of us have grown so accustomed to sleepless nights and constant busyness that we no longer know how to rest. Maybe that’s why so many of us feel exhausted, burnt out, and even physically unwell. In trying to do it all, have we become masters of abandoning ourselves instead of entering into His rest?

Who Am I? Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child Personality

High sensitivity is a trait found in one out of every five people. It is not an abnormality. Highly sensitive children and adults process information more deeply; they notice more in their environment and reflect more. Therefore, they tend to be empathetic, smart, intuitive, creative, cautious, and thoughtful. If you have a child who is “gifted” he is probably also an HSC. Dr. Elaine Aron discovered this trait and has a comprehensive book.

Why Does Raising an HSC Feel So Difficult?

My son is a talker—communication is one of his gifts, and right now, speaking is his favorite form of expression. I allow him to share freely, as long as he is honest and respectful. Still, I’ve learned this can be tricky. When children go through stressful situations—like bullying at school or tension at home—their minds can create interpretations that aren’t necessarily true but feel very real to them.

This raises important questions: What has shaped their perception? How are they processing what happened? And is their “honesty” the same as truth?

Raising HSCs can feel overwhelming because their responses are often more intense than other children’s. They may swing between being shy, outspoken, or fussy—sometimes all in one day. These are not fixed traits but responses shaped by their environment and experiences. Without the right socio-emotional tools, parents and caregivers can unintentionally cause more harm than good.

Dr. Elaine Aron explains that meltdowns themselves are not the real issue. In fact, she encourages parents to allow meltdowns and then address the situation with skill afterward. She warns that HSCs who never express big emotions may be more at risk, because suppressing feelings without a healthy outlet—whether writing, dancing, drawing, sports, or other creative practices—can lead to unhealthy behaviors in adulthood.

The question we must ask is: Do we, as parents, have the skills to guide them through this?

How to Help Our Highly Sensitive Children Thrive

When my daughter was two, she often took toys from her brother and insisted, “It’s mine!” Naturally, her brother would try to take them back, usually without success. But I noticed something important: if we gave her some time, she would often return the toy on her own, no force required.

The lesson? Sometimes we need to allow space, with gentle boundaries. Harsh punishments rarely work well with HSCs. If a behavior persists, they may benefit from structured support such as leadership development programs that nurture their spiritual, emotional, physical, and social growth. Each child is unique, and they need guidance tailored to their specific personality and needs.

Interestingly, these behaviors; clinginess, meltdowns, outbursts aren’t just in children; they also show up in adults. And the solution is often the same: helping people pursue their God-given purpose through intentional personal growth. When we walk in our true calling, we feel satisfied, loved, and whole.

HSCs can thrive and reach their full potential

Raising a highly sensitive child comes with its own set of challenges, but with understanding and intentional nurturing, their unique traits can become incredible strengths. With the right approach and resources, we can help our HSCs not only thrive but also reach their fullest potential. Let us remain informed and avoid assuming that something is wrong or “weird” about our child. Or even that they are fine when they are not. Instead, may we embrace who they are and support them in the best way possible.

With grace and growth,

Sanchia and team

Audio Version

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