The Trip – Joy, Familiarity, and Signs of Growth
Earlier this year, we took a trip to Jamaica, the land of my birth. We saw family and friends we hadn’t seen in years, we reconnected, and we ate all the food we daydream about. If you know Jamaicans, you know the food itinerary is planned long before the airline ticket is bought; festival, fried fish, jerk chicken, patty, you name it. Beyond the joy and nostalgia, I noticed something beautiful: signs of growth.
Even though some businesses were still operating hybrid from COVID 19 and a few places were still closed, the nation was moving forward. Roads were improving, new communities were rising, businesses were expanding, and the entrepreneurial fire was undeniable. On social media, Jamaicans are showing up; cooking, storytelling, building brands, and shining bold and bright. Our little island continues to captivate the world, as the destination to be, and also a source of creativity, resilience, and cultural power.
Small business fair that happens on the last Sunday of every month in Down Town, Kingston. Jamaica.
Then Came the Unexpected Storm
Then, without warning, life changed. What began as an easily overlooked tropical storm evolved into a category five hurricane. Hurricane Melissa ripped through the island, especially the western region, destroying homes, roads, schools, farms, and entire communities. The footages looked unreal, trees uprooted, roofs torn off, lives turned upside down in hours. Many Jamaicans abroad, myself included, watched in shock and disbelief, praying for those in harm’s way.
The emotional impact was heavy. In our community groups, messages poured in fear, confusion, prayers, and songs. But soon after, we hear the echoes of, “We still have to eat.” The unspoken meaning? Life must go on. Bills have to be paid. Children must be cared for. We push through, it’s the Jamaican way. But even as we admire our resilience, we must ask: Is this the right way? Is pushing forward without processing what we feel really strength, or survival mode dressed up as bravery and productivity?
When Life Interrupts Dreams
Storms happen in nature, but also in our lives. Many of us know the feeling of having our dreams interrupted. Relationships end. Jobs get lost. Opportunities vanish. Someone we love suddenly passes. Our identity shifts. Plans we held close to our hearts crumble before our eyes. And whether it happens to one family or an entire nation, loss shakes us. It stirs emotions we don’t always have language for.
So what do we do with all of this?
Some withdraw and become quiet. Others grow irritable or lash out easily. Some talk endlessly to avoid silence. Others blame themselves, or blame God, or blame the world. Many distract themselves with work or busyness. Beneath all that behavior is a deeper truth — we are grieving, and we don’t always know it.
Before Rebuilding, We Must Grieve
Yes, this is a time to rebuild. Homes must be repaired, infrastructure restored, lives reorganized. But rebuilding doesn’t start with hammer and nails, it starts with heart and soul. Scripture reminds us that:
“There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:4 KJV)
This is not weakness. This is wisdom.
International aid is pouring in, and we are grateful. Roofs can be replaced, food can be provided, and finances can be restored. But emotional rebuilding? Spiritual rebuilding? Inner healing? Those require time, patience, and community support. This is where counselors, therapists, pastors, coaches, elders, and compassionate leaders are critical. We need more than resources, we need reassurance, perspective, truth, and hope.
Are We Grieving and Don’t Know It?
Many of us were never taught how to grieve. Not in school. Not at home. Further, as a resilient culture, we pride ourselves on strength. We say:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “Once there is life, there is hope.”
- “It is, what it is.”
These statements are not wrong. They can even bring comfort. But sometimes, they can become emotional bypassing, a way we avoid facing our pain. We know how to keep moving, how to look good while carrying burdens, and how to survive storms. But survival mode is not the same as healing. If we don’t acknowledge pain, it settles in the body, the soul, and the spirit. We become restless, disconnected, unfulfilled, easily triggered, and spiritually dead.
How Do We Begin to Grieve and Heal?
Grieving is not weakness, grieving is strength. It takes courage to feel, to pause, to process, to sit with emotions we would rather avoid. Healing isn’t linear, but we can begin with intentional steps rooted in kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and community.
Cry
Tears release pain. They cleanse the body and soul. Scripture reminds us:
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.”
(Psalm 34:18 NIV)
Tears are not always proof of failure, they are proof of being human.
Pray and Read Scripture
The Psalms and Lamentations are full of honest emotion, questions, grief, anger, faith, and hope. When we don’t have words for our prayers, reading scripture aloud becomes our prayer. David, a warrior and king, wept freely before God, and God called him a man after His own heart.
Talk to Someone
Counselors, psychologists, pastors, coaches, and trusted friends can help us process emotions. Healing accelerates when we are seen and heard.
Fellowship
Community restores us. Healing grows in belonging. We are not meant to carry life alone.
Tell Your Story
Speak. Write. Sing. Paint. Create. Expression is liberation. Art is therapy. Testimony heals, both the speaker and the listener.
Practice Self-Compassion
Rest is holy, not lazy. Jesus Himself rested. We must give ourselves grace and nourish our souls, even while rebuilding. busyness does not equal healing.
Why Don’t We Grieve Well?
At the root of unprocessed grief, we often find fear and unforgiveness. We want someone to blame; governments, systems, people, or even God. Yet blame keeps us stuck. It keeps us rehearsing the pain instead of releasing it. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer.
Fear is also powerful. We fear appearing weak. We fear collapsing emotionally. We fear pain so much we avoid feeling it. We want to look put together, but we never had control. Avoiding grief only prolongs suffering and leads to cycles of self-protection and self-sabotage. We cannot receive a new vision, for our lives or our nation, while holding on to old hurts.
A Personal Lesson: When Unforgiveness Hides Behind Strength
There was a season where everything offended me. Every silence felt like rejection. Every comment felt like judgment. On the outside, I looked accomplished. But inside, I felt exhausted and lost. Only when I allowed myself to grieve, to forgive others and myself, did I find clarity again. That’s when the vision for my PhD returned and the path opened. Healing unlocked destiny.
I share this journey in my book Fulfill the Dream, because emotional healing is necessary for true growth.
A Time to Reflect, Personally and Nationally
Today, we must ask:
- What are we still grieving?
- What have we not allowed ourselves to feel?
- Who must we forgive?
- What fears are holding us back as individuals and as a nation?
- What dreams do we need to lay down — or rebuild?
- Where can we find or create spaces for healing?
Healing begins with honesty. It grows with compassion. It flourishes in the community. And it is sustained through spiritual grounding.
The Invitation to Rise Again
Our dreams are still possible, individually and collectively. However, before rebuilding, we must release the emotional weight we carry. Grieve, Forgive, Rest, Support one another, Seek God, Heal, Grow.
We grieve with Jamaica.
We grieve with every nation facing crisis right now.
We stand with every person rebuilding a life, a dream, a home, or a heart.
We will rise again, not by our own strength alone, but because grace lifts us, resilience grows in us, and God remains faithful in every storm.
We are not alone. And our story — personally and nationally — is far from over.
With grace and growth,
Sanchia and team.
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