Storms and the Process of Becoming
I feel like my life has been riddled with storms, both natural and personal.
From unexpected disruptions to forgetfulness, they seem to come one after the other. Just when I feel like I’ve made it through one, I’m preparing for the next.
I don’t like storms.
Does anyone?
But I’ve become so accustomed to them that they don’t shape me the way they used to. I have learned that storms come with purpose. They are not random. They are often trying to teach us something.
Yet sometimes, the reason storms keep repeating is that we haven’t learned the lesson the first time… or the second… or the third.
Sometimes, we are so far off course that it takes time to get back on course. This is the process of being brought back into alignment.
And in those moments, the journey to where we’re meant to be can feel impossible.
But nothing is impossible with God.
We must trust the process of becoming whole, of becoming all we were meant to be.
Lessons from Children: We Never Stop Learning
Last week was Spring Break.
I’ve learned to approach life differently. During the structured school year, we make space for recreation. When school is out, we lean into learning, intentionally stepping outside the rhythm of routine and culture.
So, we went to the library.
This library has a discovery center filled with hands-on exhibits for children. It’s a space of curiosity, wonder, and exploration.
And of course, it didn’t take long before a question came.
My four-year-old daughter asked:
“Where does water come from?”
A simple question.
Or so it seemed.
My children have a way of asking questions that seem basic but are deeply profound. My son often tests what I know by asking questions he already has answers to. But my daughter? She asks from pure curiosity.
I know the science behind the water cycle.
But she is four.
So I answered simply:
“Water comes from the river, my dear.”
She sighed.
Not satisfied.
I wondered what she knew that I didn’t.
So I took the question to a group, and surprisingly, even some of the brightest people I know had to pause.
And that’s when I am reminded,
We never stopped learning. There is always room for growth.
The Process of Becoming
At the library, we also explored insect displays.
At first, the children were hesitant. Curious, but cautious. They stood at a distance, unsure.
“Come closer,” I said. “You can touch it.”
There were preserved insects—roach, butterfly, grasshopper—each showing different stages of life.
My son wanted to know if roaches were that big.
My daughter was drawn to the butterfly.
And of course, the butterfly became the lesson.
The butterfly starts as an egg, then a larva (caterpillar), then a pupa (cocoon stage). This latter stage is hidden; it is where unseen transformation occurs. It begins to grow wings. Until one day, the butterfly bursts out of the cocoon and begins to fly.
The process is known as metamorphosis, and it illustrates “becoming” beautifully.
Sometimes, we cannot see what is happening inside the process.
But transformation is still taking place.
Wholeness is not a moment.
It is a process.
Can we trust the process?
Caring for the Whole Self
Sometimes what we call forgetfulness or overwhelm is a form of self-abandonment.
We forget:
- Who we are
- What we carry
- What we are called to do
True self-care goes beyond surface-level routines.
Wholeness requires caring for every part of who we are:
Body
What are we consuming?
Are we resting? Exercising?
I noticed how what I watched influenced what I craved. Even my children began asking for healthier foods like grapes. Listen to the children!
What we model matters.
Soul (sometimes called the heart)
Our mind, emotions, memories, desires, and dreams.
Do we understand our emotions?
Are we processing them?
Have we healed from past storms?
Sometimes we need support, therapy, coaching, and community.
Spirit
What are we feeding our spirit?
Are we aligned with truth?
We cannot live out kingdom values, kindness, forgiveness, and compassion, on our own.
We need Jesus, and we need others. However, we also need to allow Jesus to point out who is who in our lives. Everyone is not our friend.
What Are We Following?
Recently, we reflected on this question:
Are we truly following Jesus—the way, the truth, and the life? Or have we allowed other things to take His place?
Because an idol is anything we place above God.
It can be:
- Our job
- Our spouse
- Our children
- Achievement
- Our gifts
- People’s opinions
- Fear
- Food
- Even comfort
I must admit, food became an idol in my life recently.
During Lent, I was fasting. But while I wasn’t consuming physical food outside the window to eat, I was consuming it mentally, scrolling through social media, watching food videos, and commenting like a critic.
I was distracted.
I forgot what my focus was supposed to be.
The next thing I knew, I had a new dream and began moving towards it!
That is what idols do: they distract us.
Even when the thing itself is not bad, placing it above God (or His will for our lives) shifts our focus.
It delays growth.
It delays wholeness.
It can even delay our dreams.
So we must ask ourselves:
Have we been unknowingly worshipping idols?
Independence: Strength or Illusion?
My daughter is in a phase of independence.
“I can do it myself,” she says confidently.
And she tries to do everything.
But she also knows when she needs help.
There is wisdom in that.
True independence is not isolation. It is knowing what to do, knowing when and who to ask for help.
Many of us, especially those with leadership tendencies, pride ourselves on independence. We carry responsibility. We solve problems. We push through.
Do we know when we need help?
Where does our help come from?
Has our independence become an idol?
Because when we believe we must do everything on our own, we unknowingly remove God from the equation.
That may lead to burnout, not wholeness.
God is our source.
He gave us the job.
He gave us the children.
He gave us the gifts.
Are we worshipping what was created, while forgetting the Creator?
When Fear Becomes a Barrier
Recently, I needed to do something I was fearful about. I procrastinated for months, unintentionally. During these months, I passed through storm after storm, not recognizing that I needed to address this issue. During lent I decided to pray, fast, and feed my faith in community while I kept doing small things towards the issue. Eventually, I find myself doing the very thing I felt fearful about, without realizing it. And I thought, why was I afraid to do this again?
As we grow, we are called higher.
And in those seasons, things may stop working.
Doors close.
Plans fail.
Uncertainty rises.
And with uncertainty comes fear:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of judgment
- Fear of lack
Fear is not the problem.
It is how we respond to it.
Do we allow it to control us?
Or do we grow through it?
Fear is an illusion.
But growth requires us to move anyway. Grow through the fear. Ask for help.
The Role of the Holy Spirit
We are not alone.
We have help.
The Holy Spirit:
- Guides
- Teaches
- Reminds
- Strengthens
In the middle of decisions, overwhelm, or uncertainty, we can pause and say:
“Holy Spirit, help me.”
And He will.
Marriage: Becoming Whole Together
Marriage is not about two incomplete people completing each other.
It is about two whole individuals coming together.
We should know who we are before entering marriage.
Then in marriage, we take on roles—spouse, parent—but we do not lose ourselves.
Healthy marriages require:
- Personal growth
- Boundaries
- Grace
- Communication
When we expect others to fill our voids, we create pressure.
Only God can make us whole.
When two people are committed to growth, the relationship becomes stronger, not dependent, but aligned.
Boundaries: Protecting Your Wholeness
Wholeness requires boundaries.
Without boundaries:
- We overextend
- We overgive
- We lose ourselves
Children remind us of this.
They try, they learn, and they grow.
We don’t need to overcompensate.
Boundaries are not selfish.
They are necessary.
They protect:
- Our purpose
- Our peace
- Our family
- Our growth
We must learn:
- When to say yes
- When to say no
- Who has access to us
Even Jesus set boundaries. He went out to pray by himself on many occasions. Who are we following?
So must we.
Keep Becoming
Life will always have storms.
There will be seasons of:
- Uncertainty
- Growth
- Stretching
But every storm carries an opportunity:
- To learn
- To realign
- To become whole
So today:
Pause.
Reflect.
Ask for help.
You are not alone.
The life you are building…
And the person you are becoming…
Is worth it.
Keep going, keep seeking, and keep becoming.
With grace, gratitude, and growth.
Sanchia and team.
Are We Ready?
Are you ready to become whole and walk in alignment with your purpose?
Take the next step in your journey.
Read more on the blog, reflect on your values, and begin making intentional choices that support your growth.
If you’re ready to go deeper, I invite you to:
- Explore the book Fulfill the Dream: Life Lessons for Pursuing A PhD
- Book a consultation for blog, book, or personal development guidance
- Partner with me through life coaching to move from where you are to where you are called to be
Your story matters. Your growth matters.
And someone is waiting on you to become all you were created to be.
Start today.
Video Version
The video version will be available soon!
Please watch and reflect on the video version of Be Still And Grow: Wholeness, Independence, and Boundaries.